Class, Gottman (2003) Has Identified Four Negative Factors As Particularly Destructive That Are Predictors Of

Class, Gottman (2003) has identified four negative factors as particularly destructive that are predictors of divorce
 These are known as the four horseman of the apocalypse: Criticism –  Using words likeyou always oryou never, which leads the partner to feel under attack and respond defensively
The antidote is to make a direct complaint that is not a global attack on your partners personality
Defensiveness“ Attempting to defend yourself from a perceived attack with a counter complaint, which escalates negative communication
The antidote is to try to hear your partners complaint and to take some responsibility for the problem
Contempt“ A statement or nonverbal behavior that puts you on a level of superiority (e
g
, name calling, rolling eyes, sneering, mocking), which destroys the fondness and admiration
The antidote is to work on building a culture of appreciation and use less contemptuous statements and behaviors
Stonewalling“ Withdrawing from the conversation, due to being overwhelmed and trying to calm down
The antidote is to learn to identify signs that one or both partners is overwhelmed and agree to take a break
Here is a short video describing these factors and anedotes: https://www
youtube
com/watch?v=1o30Ps-_8is These are some factors that can predict the demise of a relationship
 Are there other factors you have come across in your readings that predict why marriages stay together? Answering ‘counts’ as a discussion response
Reference Gottman, John (2003)
 The Mathematics of Marriage
MIT Press
 ISBN 978-0-262-07226-7